A.H.'s Walk; Reasons to bring a bunny
by kimberlyan
Summary: This is a story influenced by my sister's pet rabbit. We apologize in advance if it makes completely no sense. Enjoy.


This story was written out of boredom by myself and a good friend with the pen name of bepalin. Be sure to check out the other stories by this author.  
  
I think my sister's pet bunny has issues. Now I know what you're all thinking... how can a bunny have issues? They're so cute and cuddly with not a care in the world... well unless they're outside and have to worry about the food chain and predators and cars flying down the road, but my sister's bunny is a pet. He has the good life. I mean fresh water every day, a special caged pen so he can go outside and enjoy the day worry free, constant food supply and heating; yeah that bunny has got it made.  
  
And yet, he's just not happy. He's a very forlorn bunny. Even protein pellets don't cheer him up anymore. He just flops around, with this apathetic look on his face, not even a tail wiggle. At first I thought maybe he was sick, but like I said, this bunny lives better than the freaking Pope does! But, if he wasn't sick, what was his problem? I just couldn't figure it out. Then I started looking into matters and found out that A.H. just needed more exercise (oh and by the way, his name is Anthony Hopkins, A.H. for short. Yeah. I thought my sis was a freaking genius when she came up with that one too).  
  
Anyhow, I noticed one day A.H. was being very inactive while outside in his cage. He just sat there with this longing look in his eyes, just yearning to go beyond the perimeter of his little boxed in area. I decided that the poor fellow needed to be walked. Hell it was like being trapped in your house for too long. He needed more zest in life. So I went to the store and bought a bunny leash, came back and took him out for the day. Anthony was so excited. You could just tell with the extra skip hops he was adding into his walking. I had to stop for him to smell the roses at least once every two minutes. And seeing as there aren't many roses around here, he was really bookin' it. Anyway, I was walking along minding my own business, when this guy suddenly popped out of the bushes. He was blond and reminded me of a Hitler youth or something. I was pretty surprised, so I just, kinda, stared for a moment. A.H., however, was not at all stunned.  
  
He was straining at the end of his leash, completely wiggin' out (I mean foaming at the mouth, eyes rolled back in his head wiggin')! All this woke me up and I hastily backed away. The guy followed, holding out his arms and muttering. "Mmrrf ... church.... Join us...GAHH!!!" I yelped and fell backwards as he lunged at me! As I fell I completely let go of A.H.'s leash landing on the side walk pavement. I slammed my head hard and looked up just in time to see the guy pounce me, pinning me down saying something about " PLEASE. be my friend." The fool was blushing like a giddy school girl on Sadie Hawkins day.  
  
Pain shot through the back of my skull traveling down my back, such horrid pain. I was beginning to black out but I fought it. There was no way in hell I was letting myself be alone with this freak while being unconscious. Who knew what he had in mind? I squirmed and fought with all of my might to get this guy off of me but he was huge! It didn't help that I was getting weaker from fighting off the abyss of blackness. I began to cry from the pain and frustration, hot tears streaming down my face when all of the sudden the man screamed the most horrible highest pain stricken scream I had ever heard in my life! He rolled off me trying to get up off of the ground but something had him by the foot. I rolled over and sat up glancing just in time to see Anthony Hopkins near the man's feet before I blacked out completely.  
  
I woke up some time later to someone standing over me. I blinked, trying to sit up. "What happened?" I moaned with the biggest freaking headache you could possibly imagine. The person above me was staring back at the street.  
  
"DUDE," she said, shaking her head in amazement. "That was some fucking dolphin shit right there!!"  
  
I frowned and waited for my head to clear. "What is?" I asked. The stranger pointed out to the street.  
  
"That bunny just started wailing on that dude and then. WAHHHH!!! There goes his head and the bunnies all like, FWAHHHHH, and he just... DAMN!!"  
  
I looked up in astonishment, startled to see the remains of the guy that had jumped me. His arms and legs where strewn about the road, his torso in the center of a huge pool of crimson blood. As the stranger ran over and began kicking the remains of what used to be the guy's foot, I stood up and began looking around for A.H. He had propped himself over by a patch of clover in a nearby yard. Poor little guy was all bloody and tired out. I owed that little bunny my life. I walked over to him and picked him up, holding him in my arms. "Come on little buddy," I said looking down at him smiling. "Some one needs to get home and take a bath."  
  
So that's what we did. My sister took proper care of A.H, cleaning him up and pampering him with carrots and clover and fresh water while I got myself a shower and an ice pack for the bump on the back of my head and took a nap. I'm not sure what happened to the remains of that man who attacked me on the sidewalk but I'm positive that A.H. had done the world a favor.  
  
*Later that year, at one of A.H.'s annual checkups, we discovered that Anthony Hopkins was related to none other than the famous 'Rabbit of Caerbannog' from Monty Pythons Quest for the Holy Grail. 


End file.
